UFC 79 NEMESIS

It may just be the overall experience of watching the event in a bar with a bunch of other fight fans but I must say this is probably the best UFC event I have ever seen. The cards were great and the main events were fucking amazing! I may have called a few fights wrong but I don't care. I'm a fan I just want to see a great fight.
In the main events I called one fight wrong and one right, which is no big deal because they were both amazing fights and my hero GSP dominated his fight.

Chuck beat Silva in a unanimous decision, and I know what your thinking "they must have been lazy to make it to a decision", No they were both amazing. They kicked the shit out of each other (misleading statement as most of the damage was done via devastating punches). They went toe to toe for most of the fight and in the end Chuck pulled it out as he landed far more consistently and had Silva hurt many times. Props to both men for an outstanding battle!

In GSP's fight he did exactly what I hoped he would do, beat Hughes on the ground. A definitive message to the MMA world since Hughes is supposed to be the best Wrestler in the sport. GSP not only defended every attempt Hughes made at taking him down but he also took Hughes down at will. He even made a few truly spectacular slams and trips. Once on the ground Gsp was unstoppable, hitting Hughes with flurries of elbows and punches then he finished him off about midway through round two with a sick arm bar.

Well that's how the main events went, as far as I'm concerned the undercards were quite good too. Most of the undercard fights featured Fighters I had never seen(two of them were newcomers to MMA and a few were just starting in the UFC). The two fighters I recognized were Melvin Gulard and Eddie Sanches. Melvin got submitted but over all preformed well, Eddie's fight was a little less interesting but he fought well and got a TKO victory.

Those are my thoughts on the event, see ya later...I'm out (I have to think of a new catch phrase,maybe I'll make a new poll)

The Kingdom

This one is going to be short and sweet, I want everyone to see this movie. I'm not going to beat around the bush with this one I'm giving it an A, and I'll tell you why. It's the best movie I've seen in a long time, it was as close to perfect as you can get and is especially important to see because of it's cultural relevance.

When I started this movie I figured is was going to be just another Americans to the rescue flick, AMERICA, FUCK YEAH, COMING AGAIN TO SAVE THE MOTHER FUCKING DAY YEAH...and all that. But what I got was so much more. They really portray the terrorists in a more human manner than most films. They weren't shown as evil, just misguided, something everyone needs to understand. They really believe that they are doing the right thing so saying their all evil is ignorant and just misinformed. In my opinion evil is when a person knows something is wrong and they do it anyway. We have to remember they are brought up to hate us and brain washing is far easier to do and far more effective than most people believe.

This movie could really open some eyes if people choose to watch it and try to learn something. It also deals with the relations between American and Saudi governments as well as giving a basic history lesson for anyone who doesn't know the history of this relationship. Luckily I took this stuff in school so I could jump right in and really understand the political side, not that it is confusing they make sure to inform the viewers about everything that is happening. That's all I'll say about the plot as I don't want to spoil anything.

The acting is top notch, each character seems sincere and whole. There was not one weak character in the cast and each one has a different appeal that makes them all fit. Jamie Fox and the main Arab guard that they work with are especially good.

I know many people will point out how there are far to many films about the war in the middle east and I agree. However this is one to watch. Some of the plot points are a little far fetched but they work. the action is perfectly placed, gritty and realistic. And most importantly it all invokes an emotional response.

So in conclusion I would like to once again ask everyone to watch this movie as it will appeal to both action fans and dram fans. And for anyone else the cultural relevance is the draw as I believe the message here is strong and more importantly sincere.

As always feel free to comment on my style or to give me a review suggestion. Make sure to vote in the poll as well.

Aliens VS Predator 2 Requiem

So to start I would like to mention that I am a huge fan of the Alien series and enjoyed the first Predator movie allot, so when they made the first AVP I pretty much had a nerdgasm and knew I had to see it. Unfortunately the movie lacked the spirit of the two franchises and parts of it were actually boring. It deserves a grade of C, only enjoyable for real fans. The main problem I had was the complete lack of gore. I think it actually got a PG13 rating and for a movie of this kind that means trouble. Then when I saw the preview for AVP2 that all changed...For it had all the gratuitous gore fans were waiting for.

After I cleaned myself up(yet again) and thanked the dark lords for their blessing I preceded to call up my regular movie going friends to tell them we had to see this movie. But as the months went by intelligence kicked in again and told me to stop being a dumb-ass fanboy and realize this movie was probably not going to be that good. I assumed that it would be some mindless fun and little more.

I was right, this movie had lots of balls but no brains. It was a fun little massacre full of gore and cool creatures. The good news is that it surpasses it's predecessor. the gore and the new location created much cooler scenes and the special effects were really good. Alien fans will not be disappointed with the aliens, they were well made and there movements weren't as robotic as they have been in the past. The Predator was cool and used many different tools during his hunt. However the main draw was the Pred-Alien which kicked all kinds of ass over the course of the movie.

The story is pretty "paint by numbers" it starts off were the last AVP ended; the Pred-Alien bursting out of the dead predator. He then proceeds to kill most of the crew of the predator ship and crash lands back on earth with a bunch of his face hugging brethren. This is bad of course so the predators send their best hunter to kill this new breed of alien and cover up any evidence of it's existence. This puzzled me as I never saw the Predators as a very discrete race. They kind of just fly in rip shit up then fly back out. What ever, it's not that important anyway. The point is the hunt...sort of. The other side of the plot is the stupid humans with all there stupid problems which take up time until they stupidly die. I hope I've emphasised stupid enough for you if not I GIVE YOU...

Nightmare's Top 3 Stupid Lines

# 3 a woman walks into a pitch black restaurant with a flash light. She then yells out hello is anyone there the power just went out. If anyone is there I think they know the power is out since their standing in the dark!

# 2 One of the macho heroes exclaims we have to do something "people are dying", as if no one had noticed the death up till now. Maybe they were to dumb to comprehend what was going on as they witnessed their friends and family being dissembled before there eyes.

# 1 the same women I mentioned before exclaims "the government doesn't lie to people". The entire audience laughed at that one! What a cliche piece of shit line.

Well I think that illustrates the main problem with this movie, the humans. I came here to see Aliens and Predators not to see the the cliche lives of a bunch of stereotypical characters. In my opinion this movie would have been better off without human characters, the only purpose they should have had was to die horribly.

Over all this movie gets a C+.

It was fun but definitely not a must see. the only thing I think I should mention is the fact that I had a great time watching it. I was with a bunch of friends and we had fun with the action and laughed at the weak points. I was lucky enough to be in a very vocal audience and we all had a good time...Up until the ending which was very unsatisfying.

So if you want to see it leave your brain at home and watch it with a bunch of smart-ass friends. Personally I would suggest it as a rental for Alien and Predator fans as well as people who like a good monster flick. If you go in with the right expectations you could enjoy yourself.

AVP 2 Preview + UFC 79

I went to the theaters to see AVP 2 tonight and once again got about what I was expecting. I'm not going to give away the details yet, for that you'll have to wait for tomorrows review. I would also like to mention the upcoming UFC event on the 29th, as it could be a night to remember. It features the rubber match between George St-Pierre and Matt Hughes as well as the long awaited fight between Chuck Liddell and Wanderlei Silva. These fights on there own warrant massive attention, putting them both in one event is just MADNESS! I think any fighting fan even the casual ones need to see this event. I'm not saying you need to go a buy it on payperview if you don't have the cash or a satellite just go to your local sports bar and enjoy.
Though I'm not a betting man I'll give you my predictions of the main fights. I see GSP taking out Hughes, not because I'm byest since were both Canadians (though I am a huge GSP fan), GSP is just a better fighter. He lost the first match because he invested to much in a submission and left himself open for a couter submission, up until that point he was dominating. In their last fight it wasn't even a contest a he got the TKO with ease. I hope he shuts Hughes down on the ground if he beats Hughes at wrestling he would prove that he is better at everything not just striking. After all he beat Josh Koscheck on the ground and Koscheck was supposed to be the best wrestler in the UFC. Anyway I see GSP winning.
In the Liddell/Silva fight I see Silva taking it for two reasons. 1 Chuck hasn't been fighting well lately and sure Silva lost his last to fights but he lost them in style they were amazing brawls against Dan Henderson and CroCop (by the way CroCop is a heavy weight and Silva is Light heavy wieght), and both times it seemed like he could have easily won as well if he landed the right strike. Both of Chucks last fights were less impressive one was a first round KO to Rampage and they other a lack luster split decision loss to Keith Jardine (a fighter who isn't even talked about as a future belt contender he's just another fighter). And 2 Silva is a better fighter, he's fought and beaten the best of the best and did it in a far more impressive manner. For the most part Chuck is just a puncher he keeps throwing until one connects the problem with this style is he leaves him self far to open when he throws his wide hooks. Silva is well versed in both BJJ and various forms of striking. He is an excellent puncher and has one of the deadliest tai-clenches in the sport. He is more well rounded and in my opinion Chuck will get KO'd quickly.
So that's my predictions and I will post my review tomorrow. Also I'll do a recap of the fight on the 30th for anyone who misses it.

Black Christmas Review

OH LORD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME !!! I really don't want to write this. I just want to forget I witnessed this abomination and move on, but I must write. This is my purpose (if somewhat meaningless as far as purposes go), to review the shit so you don't have to watch it. And yes I'm not even going to lie this time, this movie is a piece of shit. I'll break it down but it shouldn't take long to illustrate the shear half-assery this movie embodies.
I'm not even going to try and be eloquent when describing the story. It sucks ASS! It is completely void of common sense or reason and follows the bare minimum standards of Stereotypical horror; ie there are a bunch of dumb-asses in a house with a killer...that's it, really. There is a back story but it's stupid, and it's told through partial flash backs and character narrative. All of this is done terribly and if the story wasn't so "paint by numbers" it would be hard to follow. It is the typical escaped mental patient returning to his home to KILL AGAIN!

LOL

We have seen countless movies with the exact same formula and though most are at least entertaining. This movie is so stupid I couldn't even laugh at it, and believe me I tried. There were parts were I just sat back in complete shock that this level of incompetency was actually possible. And I'm not just talking about the story and the actors themselves(who play characters who do the dumbest things imaginable, even for horror characters!), I'm also talking about the special effects and basic editing as well. Sometimes they put the big scary sound(you know the one that's supposed to make yo jump) before anything even happens. It completely ruins the whole effect. And they never knew where to focus the audience's attention before a scare. It's all about misdirection, making the audience focus on the wrong thing then you scare them from another angle. Here they fly all over the place never focusing on anything then use the same scare over and over again leaving no room for surprise. I'm serious they use the same attack from behind plastic bag over the victim's head scare at least five times. It was kind of cool the first time but it gets old fast.
That's the main problem with this movie it gets old way too fast. It got to the point were I was so bored I was longing for the movie to just end. All the stupid scenes (like normal size icicles falling and stabbing right through someones head) just took all the fun out of the movie. They try to selvage it by adding a twist but you can see it come long before it actually becomes relevant. The whole point of a twist is to catch the viewer off guard and make them feel like they have actually seen a movie that was written with skill. Then after the killer was died and the movie should end...it keeps going. In one of the worst endings imaginable the killed actually gets out of his body bag and continues his rampage. You mean to tell me the paramedics never even bothered to check the killer's pulse! This really sums the movie up well, as a story driven by stupidity with plot holes big enough to cram my fist through. And hopefully the makers of this film are on the other side, so I can strangle them!
This movie gets an F.
There is really no reason to watch it. The lousy killer and the cheap unrealistic gore are not even going to entertain the hardcore slasher fans. I would recommend just seeing another movie. Either a smart gore fest like saw or a classic slasher like Halloween or Friday the 13th. And if you want a Christmas themed movie stick to fun family comedies at least then you can find some entertainment.

Once again if you have an idea for my next review feel free to leave a comment, I'm also open to constructive criticism about my writing style. I'm always willing to learn and part of learning is listening.

Black Christmas Preview

Well I did say I'd be doing a Christmas themed review and I settled on the moderately recent movie Black Christmas. I know nothing about the film other then what I saw from it's trailers last year. I just know it takes place during the holidays.
However I already have a bad taste in my mouth due to the incompetency of my local Blockbuster. I found their organization to be retarded at best. They had the movies arranged in a sort of half-assed alphabetical order and by that I mean, completely Fucked up! I searched all through the rows and when I finally found the case there were a bunch of random movies behind it! If memory serves they all began with the letter S as well. So I gave up and started searching the new releases hoping to find a suitable replacement and within seconds found Black Christmas...WTF (note the pretty Christmas colors!). So I rented it and though I have not yet started it I am already dreading the outcome.

Once again I'll post the review tomorrow, for now...

I'm out!

I AM LEGEND (or at least I shall be in time)

Well I saw "I Am Legend" last night and got pretty much what I was expecting, a good movie. Not great, certainly not epic, but good. There are some good points and some bad points and I'll go over each set in detail to give you the viewers (most likely viewer) a clear understanding of what this movie is all about, then you can decide if you want to see it.
Let's start with the bad as that's what I'm best at describing. Though I don't really get to exercise my cynicism much because there is not that much wrong with the film. There are only two real faults: the CG creatures and the fact that the story drags a little at points. I would have much preferred actors with make up and prosthetics doing the creatures as oppose to all CG. I like the fact that computer generated special effects are getting so good, however I can still tell it's fake. With the right makeup job you can create the illusion of reality because part of it is real. They should have saved the CG for the more complicated stunts or the scenes in really low light conditions only. But over all the creatures still look ok (they're a kind of vampire/zombie mix by the way). The plot stutters are only minor and didn't bother me much but for the type of person who needs constant action this may be a draw back. this movie is primarily focused on Will Smith's character which for me was actually it's strongest point.
So on that note let's begin talking about the good parts. In my opinion this is Will Smith at his best. He isn't really an action hero in this movie (hell he can't shot shit all). He is an everyman character with real fears and real sorrow. Will Smith is a much better actor than people give him credit for and in this movie we get to see some real emotional range. Some of his acting, especially in the real climactic and emotional parts, is really top notch. there are a few moments were he falls back into his basic stereotypical macho funny man routine but for the most part it fits in anyway and isn't really a flaw. There is also one suspense scene were he is going through a building in the dark by the light of his rifle mounted flash light and it is really good. In fact it was almost perfect and his acting fit it perfectly, you could really feel his fear. And that is the point, I can't be scared if the character isn't scared. Most movies seem to forget that.
Over all the story is good but not inspiring. It feels very familiar as it barrows aspects from quite a few other movies, not that that's a bad thing. It just means to a horror fan this is going to be just another post-apocalyptic zombie type film. Though some (like me) may find it refreshing because of the way it focuses on one character instead of many "soon to be dead" stereotypes. However for people who think this movie might move to slow for them I suggest maybe renting it. I also suggest "28 Weeks Later" to the same crowed as it is mainly focused on action.
Overall this movie gets a B.
It's fun but not a must see. With some fine tuning it could have been much better, but for horror addicts in desperate need of a fix it's well worth a look.

Flight of the Living Dead (seriously)

Seriously, I'm not joking. The movie is called Flight of the Living Dead. And yes Plane+Zombies does not equal Awesome. That was a blatant lie on my part, but you knew that. This is of course also assuming that someone actually read my last post and is now faithfully reading this one. Trust me I'm not naive enough to believe any of that. Anyway, whether I'm talking to myself or not I'm going to start the review now. Enjoy!
Once the gloriously titled DVD has been put in the machine it greets you with... nothing, no company names, no previews, just the greatest main menus I have ever seen.
You get a cardboard cutout looking plane twirling towards you (yes it twirls) until it runs into the screen. Then you hear some stereo typical horror type music accompanied by poorly edited pieces of the movie playing in the windshield of the plane. As if this poorly mashed together pile of shitty action clips is happening inside the cardboard plane. Clever illusion numb nuts! And as I'm writing this I've also noticed it all loops. Not just the scenes in the window, the whole Fucking thing! so every thirty seconds I get the joy of watching the piece of shit plane careening towards me with anticipation that I'm going to have to hear that god awful music ALL OVER AGAIN! So now I'll start it again(since I watched it yesterday as well).
Hey I finally get to see who made it...sweet. Wait, their playing a little piano number that actually sounds good. It actually has a kind of creepy vibe to it. Maybe I spoke to soon, maybe this movie will be decent...maybe not. They abruptly switch to some uninspired light rock just as I was really getting into the piano. Nice, they have managed to instantly piss me off! Then we see the final nail in the movie's coffin (pun quite intended). An overly elaborate C.G title sequence. In a movie like this that is bad. It means they spent all their money on a flashy title to try and hook the viewer because they know the movie can't. And I'm serious this title sequence probably cost more to make then the movie.
Now let's talk about the characters (if you can call them characters. Their all stereotypical horror movie fodder, who's only purpose is to die horribly (hopefully soon). We have three stewardesses (one is the stereotypical slut. There is a famous guy, who in this case is a golfer. Note the putter he's always holding, that way we remember he's a golfer and this also gives him an instant weapon against the undead(why did they let him take it on the plane, WTF). Then you have the group of teenagers(a staple in every horror movie). It consists of two sluts and to jackass surfer dudes. By the way they really are surfers that's why their on this trip, apparently Paris is a great spot for surfing, something I actually looked up. You learn something new everyday. I probably should have mentioned their destination sooner but it never matters anyway, so I don't care. we also have the evil doctors and (oh my god) a detective handcuffed to a prisoner. Apparently every plane has a cop transporting a convict. There are more but I'm not going to bother mentioning them. Actually we meet almost everyone on the plane, this is possible because it is freaking empty (they must have had a hard time finding extras).
The story is ridiculous so I'll sum it up quick. The evil doctors lead by Bald evil doctor have brought not just a zombie virus but an actual zombie onto the plane. Something goes wrong with stasis and it wakes up. Then a guard armed with a sub-machine gun shoots the shit out of it (some how no one hears this). then it disappears(so scary), shouldn't it be dead? Then after a thrilling and suspenseful wait were nothing really happens the zombie flies(quite literally) back on the screen and kills the guard. This is the main problem I have with the zombies, they are basically super human. Their way faster and stronger than normal human and rip through the plane to get to their victims. What ensues is your run of the mill zombie sense where people die, turn to zombies, then get killed again by the heroes. Nothing new and it's all done in a very basic manner than has no originality. Though one thing puzzles me. Where the fuck do the zombies keep disappearing too? Planes aren't big enough to hide the endless hordes of zombies that appear in this movie. I fact there are more zombies then there ever was passengers(I'll get to that later). There is actually way to much to bitch about so I'll just finish this plot summery with this. the story is shit, the characters are flat and uninteresting, everyone has a pointless back story and there are only two characters I liked; the convict who was actually kind of funny and a zombie who spent the entire movie stuck in his chair. I actually felt bad for him , he was so pathetic. He couldn't figure out how to get his seat belt off and kept trying in vain to catch people as they ran by him (poor zombie).
As far as techniques and art direction goes this movie looks like shit. The film has a really poor quality that I wasn't expecting after the oh so beautiful intro. There are also so serious problems with makeup and CG work. Some of the special effects look completely ASS and they reuse their zombie extras over and over again making the zombies seem invincible.
Basically this movie isn't worth watch unless you catch it on t.v and watch it for a laugh. However it's also harmless and never really tries to be good anyway.
So it gets a grade of D.

I expect no one is going to see it so I'll give you the highlights of the movie in a section I will call...
Nightmare's Top Three

#3: The Golfer hits a Zombie in the head with his putter. This hit has so much force it knocks the zombie's head off and sends it flying across the plane.

#2: The golfers wife stabs a zombie through the head with an umbrella. And in a real fuck you moment she opens up the umbrella which unfurls behind the zombie's head. Just sweet.

#1: A jet fires a missile at the plane which causes the side of the plane to open up. this launches a bunch of zombies out into the sky, including my favorite character "stuck in seat zombie". Him and his chair of death fly into the jet, blowing it up! He finally killed someone, woot woot!

This movie would have been much better if it just admitted it was a rip off and had someone scream

I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING ZOMBIES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!!!

A Review Preview (what a shitty title)

Well I was scouring Blockbuster today looking for something to do my first review on.A task that would have been much easier had someone bothered to post a comment suggesting a movie. Complaints aside (but not forgotten), I found a real gem.
I was hoping to find a horror movie that people had heard of but what I found was better. A movie who's title made me stop dead in my tracks. I literally stared stupidly at this movie for about half a minute before picking it up. It's the movie that finally realises that...
Planes+Zombies=Awesome


I'll put the review up tomorrow.

The Beginning of The End

Well this is it, the day of reckoning has arrived. The skies shall darken and the moon will turn blood red. The oceans of the world will boil and the four horsemen will hail the coming apocalypse. The Nightmare has started his blog!
Ego stroking aside I am starting my blog called The Metaphorical Beatdown. This is due to semi popular demand ( two people ) expressing interest in me sharing my oh too irrelevant thoughts with the world. I see this as a way to let out my inner thoughts while working on my writing abilities. However this is also a bit of a challenge because I refuse to be just another self important jackass who feels it necessary to publish their day to day life. But I digress, I found a solution to this problem. I am going to stick to mostly writing reviews and rants in this blog. I will share interesting stories as well but let's be honest, does anyone care who I am or what I'm doing? Most of the time I don't care so personal stories will only come up if I deem it necessary, that's when something really funny or infuriating or truly epic happens. Run-on sentences aside you may be asking " you shmuck why are you posting this stuff here, you could just make a website you noob!". For starters Fuck You, I'll do what I want. And to answer the question more eloquently, this program is free and readily available. It would take work to make a website,and sadly...The dark lord Nightmare is technologically inept ( I can barley type ).
Any way that's my first blog. if someone actually bothers to read it, and perhaps likes the idea( though I really doubt it ), you can drop a comment suggesting what I should review first. If I get some feed back it will entice me to post more often.
I'm out!