Updates....or excuses

So I actually finished a novel for Intro fiction and I'll do a review as soon as I can. It's Silas Marner by the way. I will also be doing my Review of The Village (FUCK) as soon as my friend gets it to me (that's a hint Meg). Keep in mind there is also a UFC event this weekend that I may do a post about, I have a History essay to start and the Super Bowl is this weekend...so don't be surprised if it takes me a few days to catch up to my posts. I do what I can with the time I'm allotted.

Unmeasurable Hate

Expect my review for The Village to be posted within a week or so, probably on Sunday. That is if I don't take the easy way out...............BANG........... :) For now, I'm out!

Good Luck Chuck

So I'm going to do this one a little different than usual. I know pretty much everyone hates this movie so I'm going to do this more as a rant than a review. I'm writing this while watching the movie and for the record I haven't seen Good Luck Chuck before so my pain will be first hand. And yes I am assuming that I'll hate it, I'm far past the point of mercy here(especially since you people decided I should review the village, damn you all to hell!). So here we go.

To start off his friend is a creepy kid. Hahhahahah, OK your kidding me, he was hexed by a goth kid and so now he's cursed . This is some real BULL SHIT. OK I see were this is going there is going to be lots of really awkward gross out scenes. And it's not even funny awkward. And of course the fat kid grew up to be a fat adult who is just as creepy as before. What the FUCK IS GOING ON please kill the fat one, Christ I already hate everyone in this film. Please god bring in Jessica Alba.

God damn make her leave again she's making Dane Cook try and sound clever. Oh good she injured him, guess this movie isn't a total loss. WTF the bride killed a bird with the bouquet, this movie isn't even trying to be clever. Just boobs and slap stick (bad choice of words), this movie is ass.

Ha, she hit her face off the ice, hope the concussion helps her acting because this is bad. This clumsy thing is getting annoying almost as annoying as Dan Cook trying to be the "good guy" whilst screwing every piece of ass that crosses his path. These characters suck, not one of them is likable. And the fat guy is really fucking pathetic, what a dick.

NO, there is no way. Your telling me Dane Cook is only screwing these chicks because he wants them to find their true love. So their trying to portray this as a sympathetic story with a good message about true love but then they show what must be a ten minute sex scene involving Dana screwing countless hot chicks. Yeah he really respects women. Note I'm not against screwing hot chicks, seriously take note of that ladies I'm more than open to a shallow relationship ;) , I just hate it when a movie tries to be something it's not.

Speaking of which they keep trying to make Jessica Alba seem like a good actress. She just can't pass for a scientist and once again the clumsy shit is really annoying. Stop wrecking stuff you dumb bitch! Now it's trying to be a romance, go back to breaking stuff, please!

Shut up you fucking stoner, you don't have the right to give advice! Note I have nothing against stoners I just wouldn't take their advice. I'd fill you in but there is no point, the only thing I left out was the part were Cook bones the fat chick....I don't have word, but it's defiantly not funny.

I fucking hate you Dane Cook! I give up this has gone on long enough I'll finish the movie then I'll give my final verdict I don't have the strength to continue right now...

OK I watched the rest and it didn't get any better.....I have nothing left to say except you shouldn't watch it. It`s a D but I`m close to giving it an F because it just sucks. There are way better movies out there to see.

Oh by the way there are some real WTF scenes in this film and I`ll give them to you in a segment called...

Nightmare`s top 3 WTF moments

3: There is a penguin in the movie that eats it`s own shit. And it`s like they were building up to it. a few different characters mention that penguins do this just so when it happens you know why. It`s still fucking random.

2: Dane walks in on the fat guy having sex with a grape fruit. I have nothing to say.........

1: During the credits Dane gives oral sex to a stuffed penguin. It`s not half as funny as it sounds. I shudder at the thought and wish I had never seen this film. Just don`t watch it.

Hard Times...(I love word play)

Well I should have finished Hard Times by Charles Dickens by now but...I haven't and I doubt I will. I once again read a bunch of summaries to make up for it but I somehow feel like I've failed myself. I just have far to much to read for all my classes. And as of late I have been having a hard time focusing on novels (especially social commentaries...ARG!) or anything else for that matter. Personal problems aside I saw Cloverfield loved it and posted my review and I'm going to start planning my review of The Village since it has become apparent it will win. On a side note boxing is going well so not everything is bad. It just seems like I don't have enough time to do everything I need to, things end up going undone and words end up unsaid. Oh well at least I'm closer to beating up on some poor schmuck in boxing :)

CLOVERFIELD

OK, before I begin I would like to say that this movie isn't for everyone. Some people are not going to like allot of what this film has to offer. However that does not mean the movie has problems. I assume allot of reviewers are going to try and look "smart" (code for pompous and arrogant) by pointing out the movies "flaws", the problem with this is most reviewers have their heads so far up their asses that they believe that if they don't like something it's automatically bad. A real reviewer can tell when their being bias toward something and look at it from another prospective. I hate to use myself as an example (I'm not arrogant enough to really call myself a reviewer) but my review of Halloween is a good example. I hated the movie but still gave it a decent score and a pointed out that some people will like it. Because I know my tastes don't account for everyone. To say you didn't like Cloverfield is OK, to say it sucks is just ignorant and I'll tell you why...In time.

I'll break this movie down very carefully. I loved it and I don't want to ruin it for other people. So I'll keep plot points as far away as I can. Though that leads to my first(and probably most important point) the problem most people will have (besides the shaky cam) is that there is a plot. It's really all about the people who have to survive but it's also a love story. Weather or not this will work for you depends on what crowd you fall into. You'll love it if your the kind of person who can except that this man is going back for this girl because he loves her. Or you'll hate it because you think common sense dictates you would just leave her behind. It really depends on your personality. I for one thought it was great and I really grew to love the characters, of course that's easy for me because I'm young and I know people like this. Allot of people are calling them douche bags but I think your forgetting what it's like to be young. These "douche bags" are basically the people I hang out with so I really liked them. Once again this is a case were it won't work for everyone but it certainly isn't a problem. They can't go and have a diverse bunch of age groups so they can cover the tastes of everyone. Besides I would have been very confused if they had a middle aged man at the party with them. As far as performances go they were all really good. The lines didn't sound forced and they only said what they needed too, which leads perfectly too my next point.

This movie only gives you what you need to know. Both in camera work and plot design. This will again be a problem for some people. I thought it was great, I don't like to be spoon fed and I had a great time figure(or guessing) things out on my own. Besides if this were real no one would know what the hell was going on especially at ground zero. So I would have been angry if they had given explanations. The camera is what sets this apart from other epic and disaster films because instead of giving you everything they only show you what you would see if you were actually there. Some people have complained that it didn't show enough, but I think they fail to realise that is the point. Your not supposed to see everything because in real life you wouldn't. Some scenes are a tease on purpose though, they are meant to build tension and suspense. Each one eventually giving you what you want which is made all the sweeter because you had to wait for it.

These little things and the plot are what separate this from the Blaire witch. It feels real but you can also feel the directors presence. You can't just make a naturalistic movie it wouldn't work. If that happened the movie wouldn't have been half as interesting, there would have been less action, no emotional response and no character development. In real life these people would have probably either died quickly or been evacuated. the quest to find the girl was built on circumstance but it was necessary. It took them back into the city. I don't understand why that's a complaint because we all wanted them in the city anyway, if they had left we never would have seen anything. this is not a movie about Joe Average(though all the characters are everyman type people who I had no problem sympathising for) it is the story about the brave few who would venture back into hell for love. Though many of you are saying this defies common sense it is necessary because this is the stuff legends are built on. Obviously not everyone would do what they did but that's why we follow their story and not the story of Joe Average, their story may not resemble what you would do in a crisis but that's why no one ever remembers your story. Again it won't work for everyone but it's not a fault, realistically it's genius.

Well I think I covered as much as I can without giving away anything. i will say some people won't like the ending because it is abrupt. Though if you didn't expect that you shouldn't be analysing movies. I for one loved it because it finished the main character ark. I won't explain how though because it would ruin it for the type of people who really get that stuff. It was the only way it could have ended and yet it was still perfect. And also on a side note, the monsters look cool. Some people may have a problem with the main monster's design but I didn't and the way they teased you for most of the movie, never really showing it to you, was perfect.

I personally feel it's an A+ but not everyone is going to get some of the more artsy points. And if you don't like the shaky hand held camera effect just don't see it in theaters. If this kind of stuff gives you motion sickness just wait and watch it on DVD, the great visuals and the emotional effect it causes(there is allot of 911 type imagery and symbolism) will still work on the small screen. And at least at home you can pause it if you feel dizzy.