Does liking something make it good?

Going into a review of this nature is tough. Indiana Jones is one of thoughts beloved series with a strong fan base, myself included, who can be easily angered by any criticism towards the movie. I can’t pander to the audience, and at the same time I can’t just go by my own tastes. I liked Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull; I had a good time watching it. That doesn’t mean it was good. Now the thing I’ve been debating with myself is how to go about explaining the movie, pointing out it’s many flaws and then still recommended it in the end. For most people this movie will be a fun little ride, even if it is completely unnecessary.

I’ll start by saying Indy fans will enjoy it. After all it brings back a beloved character for one last run (hopefully the last). And it’s mostly the same old Indy…mostly (the first person who gets that reference gets 50 kudos points). There are many problems with this movie and I think they can be summed up quite easily. No one gave a shit. George Lucas was the only one who actually wanted to make a new Indiana Jones movie and he accompanied this lapse of sanity (for previous lapses see Star Wars prequels) with his own script, which he originally called Indiana Jones and the saucer men from Mars. I wish I was making this up but I’m afraid it’s true and that really is the movie in a nutshell. I’d write up a synapses but to do that I’d have to write many long and complex paragraphs. You’ll have to settle for the short version. Indiana Jones has to stop the Soviet Union from getting a special crystal skull that, apparently, could hold the power to grant them telepathic weaponry. Though they never really explain how or give any reason why they just don’t use the skulls they already have to research this new form of technology. But hey, not everyone can notice glaring plot holes while Indy is involved in a nuclear explosion or a car chase…right?

The plot is weak, seemingly designed by a pre-teen boy whose only goal is to create a vague reason for all the bombastic action. The dialogue is very stiff especially at the beginning before all the action diverts your attention. It all just feels soulless, but the crazy action has a nice feel to it all the same. But I must say they dialled up the improbability to a whole new level. It made Iron Man look like a true story it was so unrealistic. And I know what your thinking “who’s the prude now Mattie”. Firstly, shut up, secondly this movie is just ridicules at times. Indy is like some kind of demi-god, completely indestructible and there are moments where you just need to surrender to the movie and let it go.

This has gone on long enough, it’s a C+ and I’ll explain why. The title and the budget, that’s it. This is some weak stuff only saved by a huge special effects budget and a built in fan base. The plot is pathetic just don’t bother with it. It will work for the fans and also for people who just want dumb action fests. If you want to see it go for the action and nothing more. You’ll get your nostalgia fix and you’ll never have to watch it again. I would suggest seeing it in the theatres and only because the big screen suites the grandger of it all. Just leave it behind after that. It’s fun but not worth remembering and certainly not worth adding to your Indy collection (don’t go out and buy the super deluxe tetrilogy in a few months). It really never should have been made and under a different name for less money it would have been terrible, but I enjoyed myself and most other people will too. Just go in with low expectations and leave your brain at home.

Note that kudos points can be exchanged for requested reviews, shout outs, or if you’re female and foxy my number ;)

God I've been slack...

Well I got caught up in my life yet again and didn't upload my reviews...though I'm certain the last one wasn't read anyway. I've been neglecting all my side projects as well, leaving my script alone and unfinished :( But I'm bored and I don't feel like tearing into any of my required reading just yet so I'll now throw all my reviews up. Hurray for boredom!

My Old Ironman Review

Iron Man: Does the Suit Fit?

When the hype for Iron Man was just beginning I wasn’t all that interested. I didn’t have the same connection with Iron Man as I did Spiderman, and after Spiderman 3 kicked my ass I just didn’t feel like another superhero movie. Then the trailers got longer, the footage looked better and I realized how cool the character really was. Not just a regular superhero who gets their powers by luck, chance, or fate, he made himself a hero using his mind. That was a really intriguing idea, not to mention Tony Stark is cool on his own account. So after my frozen heart was thawed by napalm-esque bombardment of trailers on every form of media my thoughts turned from new found hope to fear. I was afraid this would be a repeat of my opening night viewing of Spiderman 3 where all the hype turned to misery. But now your wonder how did it turn out (or your just angrily waiting for me to get to the point), well I’ll tell you. It rocked!

Yes, Iron Man was just about everything I could have asked for in a superhero movie or any action movie for that matter. The acting was superb thanks to an amazing cast lead by Robert Downey Jr., who played Stark so well that I never once thought “he’s playing the part well”, he was Tony Stark to me. The plot was well written and it didn’t have thoughs lolls you usually see in adapted movies where they’re trying to force background information in. It all just flowed nicely from intro to climax and through the falling action. The action beats were perfectly placed throughout to keep up the excitement. And the action, oh the action. It was so well done and just left me wanting more. I’d give a brief summery of the plot but there is no need, the trailers have already covered that thoroughly and anything that hasn’t been shown in them should not be mentioned, as I would hate to ruin anything, the plot does take some interesting turns though. One thing is for sure; you have to stay through the credits, if you don’t your missing out.

So in conclusion Iron Man is the kind of movie that comic book and superhero fans have been waiting for. An action movie that stays true to its subject matter and can make you laugh without making fun of the characters or the story there in. It’s a serious and yet light-hearted film that left me longing for more and dreaming of sequel. If you love comic books or superheroes this is the movie for you, if you like action films where the characters are dynamic and not just stereo types then you’ll like Iron Man. If you were the type of kid who made tin foil armour and put a box on your head to pretend you were a robot…seek help, then go see Iron Man. If the premise sounds stupid to you or you can’t get past the implausibility of it all then this isn’t your type of movie. And while I’ve got your attention you should lighten up a bit too, you prude! I give this movie an A and a high recommendation to any of the aforementioned groups, except the prudes of course.

Victory is Mine!

I won the little writing contest I entered, if you would like to read my entry it's two blogs down ;)

Reviews of a few of the movies I've seen recently.

Ok, this is going to be quick. Just a rundown of a few movies I’ve seen recently and brief reviews of them. I would do a long review for each but frankly I don’t have time. My semester is ending and I have tons of work stacked up. So here we go.

Let’s start off with “The Ruins”, not bad but forgettable. I watched it last night and it was a fun little horror flick but there was nothing really special about it. The plot was basic but adequate, the setting was nice if somewhat limited (not a complaint unless a movie based almost completely in one setting bothers you, I know some people who don’t like that), and the characters are shallow. I know I defended the characters in “Cloverfield” and it could be argued these characters were from the same mould, but the characters in “Cloverfield” showed some depth on occasion, the characters in “The Ruins” mad me angry. The foreign guy and the blond were the only characters I liked and just from watching the trailer I knew the blonds chances of survival were slim. Speaking of dying horribly, the gore is top notch. It’s actually where the movie shines. Nothing puts a smile on my face like sever lacerations…um yeah, the gore is good. So in conclusion I give it a B-, and I recommend it to horror junkies but no one else. For normal people it could be a fun flick to rent or see on TV but certainly not a must see.

Now from average horror to truly excellent horror. I watched a movie that allowed me to finally say goodbye to slasher flicks, because lets face it the genre is basically dead. "Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon" is like an homage to all our favourite slashers. It is the story of Leslie Vernon a man who wants to be the next Jason or Myers and is filmed as a documentary. For most of the movie he’s followed by a film crew who watch him set up for that final night which will make him a legend. Periodically it shifts to a cinematic view when it’s most adequate. This movie is extremely stylish, clever, and at times wickedly funny. For fans of horror and especially slashers this is an A+ movie and I completely recommend it. For the general public it’s a fun little flick but it will be little more because you need to be a fan to get some of the references and jokes.

Anyone who knows me or has read my blogs knows I absolutely love “Cloverfield”, so it should be no surprise that I really enjoyed “Diary of The Dead”. Is it as good as “Cloverfield”? No, but it’s still a solid zombie movie that fans of the genre will love. Not as tightly made as “Cloverfield” and not as stunning, but at the same time it takes the same idea and makes it its own. There are some really nice scenes and the social commentary isn’t bad (though at times it seems a little forced). It’s a B, not great but fans of the genre will have a lot of fun with it.

Last and most certainly least “In The Name of The King”, a fucking horrible movie by the brilliant (retarded) director (asshole) Uwe Boll. This is a poor, bootleg “Lord of The Rings” and Boll never attempts to prove otherwise. There are so many lapses of logic I really don’t know how anyone could have written some of these things down: like any war movie night means flaming arrows; too bad it’s raining out (guess the rain doesn’t matter), wow the main characters name is Farmer; oh it’s because he’s a farmer (WTF), the orcs shoot other orcs off catapults for so kind o surprise attack, oh it’s night time guess it’s time to shoot flaming orcs…oh Christ…they are shooting flaming Orcs…and the list could go on. Realistically as awful as it was it could still be watchable, if not for the music. This has got to be the worst soundtrack I have ever heard, and that includes the music from “Turkish Star Wars” which was the theme from “Raiders of The Lost Arch” played over and over again. It seems like Boll was going for that epic feel that that all fantasy films try to do with booming orchestral scores, but it would seem he’s as tone deaf as he is inept at film making. This movie is epic fail and as such gets an F. If I hadn’t seen “House of The Dead” I would say this was his worst movie, and now I get to look forward to “Postal” and “Far Cry”, oh what joy.