This is a entry I made for a writing contest on another site. It required everyone to use the same opening (the first paragraph and the first line of dialogue) and it had to be 500 words or less. Many others had already done horror stories, so I had to do something else...here you go.
Dim lights played across their bodies, shadows dancing with every small movement they made. Kissing her soft red lips and looking into her eyes, he broke the quiet that had settled over them both.
"Don't marry him."
A thin blade of light shone through by the edge of the dirty curtain, lighting her face up as she looked towards it. Like she half expected it was her fiance pulling up. Her lover stared at her face, a beauty only he truly saw. To others she was plain but to him, breathtaking. But his heart ran cold as he looked; she had the look of a criminal facing trial. A strange mix of fear and guilt he had never seen before in her. Certainly not love… He silenced the thought before it could sink in.
“Don’t marry him, just leave. Be with me.”
He smiled at her as he realized this was the moment he had longed for. She wasn’t happy, not with her fiance, he was the one for her. He loved her, and he knew he always had. If things had only been different. So much wasted time, so many things left unsaid.
In the back of the small motel room a radio was just barley audible. Some generic light-rock band singing about love. Cliche, but it made the man feel stronger. The music gave him some courage.
After a long wait she finally spoke…“I can’t…I mean, I don’t know what to think right now. What will everyone think?”
“Who cares what they think!” There was a hint of panic in his voice. “ Don’t you love me?”
“Yes of course I do. I just…why can’t things just stay like this? I’m happy, aren’t you?”
He considered this for a moment. Was he happy? Not like this.
“Things can’t stay like this. If you love me we can just go, start somewhere new. Just us.”
“I love you but…I love him more.”
He sat silent, not wanting to even move. But he knew it was over.
“I’m sorry, for everything…”
He got up and left the room. He never looked back.Driving away he turns on his radio. Hoping the music will wash over him, anything to forget. First song to come on is “What if we could” by Blue October. The irony isn’t lost on him; in fact it’s the only thing keeping him listening. It’s as if it were his song.
“I’m glad to say that we met, but I’m sad to say that the circumstances weren’t on our side”
But is that it. Was it really the circumstances, or was it him? Deep thoughts, only broken by the feeling of a single tear rolling down his face. He wipes it away and scolds himself. He won’t giver her anymore. He had given her everything, his body, his mind, his heart. But she had never been his, not really…
The music filled him, but sometimes it’s better just to let go.
He turned off the radio.
6 comments:
Awww This is SO pretty! Do you write often or was like this a one time thing? Regarless its really nice. It kinda sounds like the begining of a Romantic movie. aka a Chick Flick. lol. and then it cuts back to what led up to this moment and when you reach it again in the movie you see the end of what happens.
But yeah I really hated the village. I still cant believe that I bought the DVD the day it came out hoping it would be a good movie. My mistake. Lol.
Thanks I actually write quite offten wen have the time. love writing short stories and I plan on doing exactly what you said (make this the start then work back) and adapt it into a screen play. I might not watch them but I wouldn't mind writing a romance...A Chick Flick ;)
Hmm well you can tell. Its very well writen and I actually liked it while i was reading it too. Hard to do with some people. But I think this would be amazing for a chick flick. Lol. But you should watch some of them. They can be really good.
Obviously you are a great writer, and congrats on winning this contest. I'm told I'm a natural writer;however, that's with essays. I wish I had this kind of originality and talent.
Thanks alot :)
And trust me after a year in university I truly respect people who create well constructed essays. A talent is a talent no matter what form it comes in, and as far as school is concerned my creative flair has only ever gotten me in trouble. You wouldn't belive the number of times a teacher has told me they had a blast reading my essay but couldn't give me an A becaue it wasn't properly formated; and I'm just to stuburn to conform to what they want. I would give quite abit to be a natural essay writer.
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